three months later.

Life is good.

I just finished my one summer class, Anatomy and Physiology Lab, and will be enrolling in three more classes next month - all pre-requisites for a technical degree plan. After some time to reflect on my experiences in nursing school, I realized that I'd found my calling. The one area of clinical rotations that I truly enjoyed, the one area in which I excelled: Phlebotomy. Thankfully, my nursing course hours transferred painlessly, and I'm only lacking these last three before I can apply to the program. Fifteen are accepted each semester - based on scores and interviews - and, after a semester of clinical rotations, should graduate. I feel like I'm already ahead in the game, considering I've performed at least 286,109 successful sticks and blood draws throughout nursing school. Fingers crossed. I'm stoked. :)

Justin and I are wonderful. He's my One. Without a doubt. Funny how things work that way...

//update.

One moment, all is clear. The next, as frustratingly clouded as ever.

I won't be graduating next month.

My choice.

"I know that starting over is not what life's about ---

but my thoughts were so loud, I couldn't hear my mouth."

- Modest Mouse

* * *

Nursing, for now, simply isn't my calling. I'm a firm believer, though, that absolutely everything happens for a reason - and through the nursing program, I discovered an area of healthcare in which I excel, one that both challenges and excites me. Phlebotomy. I've looked into the semester-long program offered at a school nearby, and several of my nursing credits will actually transfer. --- I know, for certain, that healthcare is where my heart lies. And hey, maybe I'll one day complete my nursing degree. For the first time in my life, though, I'm disregarding others' opinions and free advice. For the first time in my life, I'm trusting myself. For the first time in my life, I'm living - and I'm living for me. It's kind of nice.

And.

There's this incredible person, Justin. My love. Beautiful, talented, real. Hands-down, I've never felt so sure of anything or anyone, ever. Within the next few weeks, I'll be moving in with him. 'Tis only the beginning of good things.

e-n-g-a-g-e-d.

My best friend called lastnight to tell me that her boyfriend asked her to marry him.

I wasn't surprised. From the time they met, I knew he was The One. It was only a matter of time.

I'm excited for her. Really, I am. Ecstatic.

But I'm a little sad. Nostalgic, I guess.

Times are changing, man. I can hardly keep up anymore.

Two months, and I'll be looking for a job and an apartment - and I've had my heart set on Texas. I figured she'd still be there, in Dallas, and I'd have at least one friend to lean on. Lately, though, she's been spending far more time in Washington/Canada with him than she has her own place, and she's mentioned moving up north with him.

Ahhh. I'm not looking forward to Texas without her.

On the flip-side, I was asked to be her maid-of-honor. Very cool. :)

120/80.

I was pretty lame this weekend. I had plans, but not so unlike me, I cancelled. Instead, I stayed in town, caught up on some much-needed sleep, and studied for my vital signs skills test tomorrow. Funny how things change: Two years ago, my weekends meant non-stop partying, tequila binges, and countless rounds of beer pong. And, for the most part, the idea now sounds rather unappealing. I guess this is growing up. [Note: I did say "for the most part" because, believe me, I still have those days when I'd kill for a margarita, extra shots.]

My family and friends may hate me before I've ever finished nursing school. For my test tomorrow, I'll have to demonstrate my competency with checking radial pulse, respiratory rate, and blood pressure. So for the past week or so, I've been cutting off circulation practicing on everyone around me. I've decided, I hate checking blood pressure. And I hate stethoscopes. And I think, even moreso, I'm going to hate having to perform in front of an audience of teachers [aka nurses] and forty peers. It will be worth it. This new catch-phrase of mine, I think, is the one thing that will get me through May 2009. Maybe I should consider having it tattooed.

-----

And all these lines fall short of what I had in mind,
A failed attempt to capsulize a feeling.
So I just try. Fail and try and try again.
Someday, I swear I'm going to get it
'Cause I'm convinced that giving in is the worst thing there is.

"Mistakes We Knew We Were Making" - Straylight Run